Undiagnosed in 1986 – UK

All I remember of this was a vivid dream of sitting at a desk staring out of the window. The weather was fine and typical of an English dry day. My mind was elsewhere as I was sat at a school desk with a typical grey surface and a black plastic chair.

My feet were tucked up (as they always were). Suddenly without warning a bang on my desk as the teacher slapped her ruler down, snapping me out of my dream state where I felt the escape soothing my fearful mind. I glanced at my page and all I had written was a 'k'.

I was ordered to the front of the class. I stood there blushing as I felt all eyes on me. They seemed to burn into me like lasers. This was the last thing I needed, as the schoolkids already thought I was weird and shunned me.

I was shouted at for 'daydreaming' and told to get my 'head out of the clouds' and get on with my work. I was then told to put out my hand and receive my punishment.

I flinched and squinted my eyes as the ruler struck. I made no sound and refused to allow myself to cry because crying would get you another round of punishment. It was also good to not show fear in front of the class because then that would give them even more to ridicule me over.

At break time I hid so that the others wouldn't tease me over being 'slow' and 'a joke'.

Unbeknownst to me my mother had returned from her trip to help my grandfather who had taken ill (he had a quadruple heart bypass surgery and needed my mothers help).

When she asked where I was the others indicated I was in the place I always hid when teacher got mad at me, behind the brick building.

I didn't go back to that school. My mum marched me out of the school gates showing she was my hero and taking me away from the cruelty.

She deregistered me and kept me home, those were the best days!

I had hand made books I was allowed to read and colour in the pages my mum had made.

I even had a man from the council come to my home and check my chickens with me.
He asked about my friends and that was the last I saw of him.

I was shipped off to another school, because I needed to find a 'best friend' I tried really hard but I just couldn't.

I was 'assigned' some friends but they didn't like me because I was 'odd'.

If this law was in place when I was hit by my teacher I wouldn't have been allowed to leave the school because I had a CP plan (of the equivalent of it).

So I would have been kept at the school where I was hated and bullied.

The freedom to leave school when things go wrong is important to me, but so is early diagnosis and putting in place the right level of support. I wasn't diagnosed until I was 42 with Autism Spectrum Condition, and Ehlers-Danlos.

The years of torture that ensued, funded by the council (taxis every day to an from each school) is enough to break anyone.

I entered adulthood and went to university where I received a diagnosis of dyslexia, the signs were obvious that there was more to it but they were only interested in diagnosing the reason I was 'backward' despite my efforts to try hard.

My brother was screamed at till the head teachers voice ran out, so it wasn't just me that hated school.

For me my mother was my hero, advocate and saviour. The local authority were the bad guys who thought I needed to be around other children of my age to make me happy.