School Trauma, Southampton
My stories
My School Story
The school system and government is failing our children and future generations
This is not just sen children
I was utterly shocked with everything we've been through
I had so many meetings sent so many emails and worked with many organisations to no avail.
Here is just short summary:
My daughter was always a very confident happy child loved to learn had many interests and would give anything a go.
As she started secondary school things began to change
She struggled a bit and found moving around classes volume of people different situations strict rules overwhelming but she slowly built her confidence and was just about juggling it without support or guidance from school they where left to navigate this themselves.
My daughters close friends from primary school began to pull away from her and create there own groups which was scary and challenging again without school support my daughter got through this a few of the girls began to spread rumours and threaten my daughter in and outside school unprovoked. The school did nothing to support my daughter just told her to stay away and report it which she did although that made her more isolated my daughter then asked to be moved tutor groups as bullying was persistent and more children where getting involved. Instead of moving my daughter into the tutor she had friends in they moved 2 of the other girls totally disregarding my daughter this made the situation worse as they formed bigger groups. It escalated to the point my daughter was physically attacked on school grounds several times. They ran into her lessons throwing water on her nothing was done.
My daughter didn't feel safe so began to sit in toilets or on field hiding during lessons she was then constantly suspended for missing lessons or put in isolation. The girls also attacked her in isolation. Every time I spoke with school i got they where dealing with it and said my daughter could go to year office during lessons if she needed support but most important thing is be in lessons. My daughter went to year office but was constantly sent away then suspended for truanting I asked for cctv children bullying her so I could take it further i was then accidentally sent an email from a head of year meant for another member of staff saying awful things about my 11 year old and calling me delusional. My daughter had said this teacher favoured other girls and was horrible to her.
We had another meeting with a governor as well the head of year admitted to email and apologised that was it was then agreed she wouldn't be allowed to work with my daughter meaning my daughter would miss a class a week but had to go to another teacher again being singled out this lead to more bullying. My daughter changed throughout this process lost all her trust in adults all faith in her education and all interests questioning her abilities and huge knock in confidence. There was no support in school she was branded with behaviour issues she does not have there was no empathy whatsoever and the teachers favoured the groups of children not wanting to challenge them rather than protecting my daughter they failed her massively every step of the way.
She was declined visit to toilet after having female issue and denied access to medical room by 2 male teachers blocking doors shouting at her causing a huge panic attack my daughter left her phone on in her pocket and i heard everything it was awful and very traumatic for my daughter at almost 12 she was then threatened with them calling police if she didn't return to class by the head whilst this was happening my daughter was crying and hyperventilating. I collected her as she was again suspended for a medical issue this resulted in my daughter having sores from clothes sticking to her following feminine issue they did not listen to or believe her even after i called saying she needed urgent assistance.
These are just a few examples
My daughter is now in a safe and supportive environment enjoying learning again.
This is not just sen children
I was utterly shocked with everything we've been through
I had so many meetings sent so many emails and worked with many organisations to no avail.
Here is just short summary:
My daughter was always a very confident happy child loved to learn had many interests and would give anything a go.
As she started secondary school things began to change
She struggled a bit and found moving around classes volume of people different situations strict rules overwhelming but she slowly built her confidence and was just about juggling it without support or guidance from school they where left to navigate this themselves.
My daughters close friends from primary school began to pull away from her and create there own groups which was scary and challenging again without school support my daughter got through this a few of the girls began to spread rumours and threaten my daughter in and outside school unprovoked. The school did nothing to support my daughter just told her to stay away and report it which she did although that made her more isolated my daughter then asked to be moved tutor groups as bullying was persistent and more children where getting involved. Instead of moving my daughter into the tutor she had friends in they moved 2 of the other girls totally disregarding my daughter this made the situation worse as they formed bigger groups. It escalated to the point my daughter was physically attacked on school grounds several times. They ran into her lessons throwing water on her nothing was done.
My daughter didn't feel safe so began to sit in toilets or on field hiding during lessons she was then constantly suspended for missing lessons or put in isolation. The girls also attacked her in isolation. Every time I spoke with school i got they where dealing with it and said my daughter could go to year office during lessons if she needed support but most important thing is be in lessons. My daughter went to year office but was constantly sent away then suspended for truanting I asked for cctv children bullying her so I could take it further i was then accidentally sent an email from a head of year meant for another member of staff saying awful things about my 11 year old and calling me delusional. My daughter had said this teacher favoured other girls and was horrible to her.
We had another meeting with a governor as well the head of year admitted to email and apologised that was it was then agreed she wouldn't be allowed to work with my daughter meaning my daughter would miss a class a week but had to go to another teacher again being singled out this lead to more bullying. My daughter changed throughout this process lost all her trust in adults all faith in her education and all interests questioning her abilities and huge knock in confidence. There was no support in school she was branded with behaviour issues she does not have there was no empathy whatsoever and the teachers favoured the groups of children not wanting to challenge them rather than protecting my daughter they failed her massively every step of the way.
She was declined visit to toilet after having female issue and denied access to medical room by 2 male teachers blocking doors shouting at her causing a huge panic attack my daughter left her phone on in her pocket and i heard everything it was awful and very traumatic for my daughter at almost 12 she was then threatened with them calling police if she didn't return to class by the head whilst this was happening my daughter was crying and hyperventilating. I collected her as she was again suspended for a medical issue this resulted in my daughter having sores from clothes sticking to her following feminine issue they did not listen to or believe her even after i called saying she needed urgent assistance.
These are just a few examples
My daughter is now in a safe and supportive environment enjoying learning again.
What happened next...
My daughter left school after several traumatic experiences
2 years on being home educated she is back to pursuing her interests after feeling they where pointless.
Back to enjoying learning and thriving in her environment.
She is more social now than she was in school and has a good group of supportive friends.
Her self worth motivation and confidence in her abilities has had a huge turn around.
Without the option to home educate my daughter she may not be here now her mental health would have continued to suffer massively effecting her ability to learn and get the right to education she deserves and the freedom to be herself without pressure or judgement in a safe supportive environment.
2 years on being home educated she is back to pursuing her interests after feeling they where pointless.
Back to enjoying learning and thriving in her environment.
She is more social now than she was in school and has a good group of supportive friends.
Her self worth motivation and confidence in her abilities has had a huge turn around.
Without the option to home educate my daughter she may not be here now her mental health would have continued to suffer massively effecting her ability to learn and get the right to education she deserves and the freedom to be herself without pressure or judgement in a safe supportive environment.
How I think schools could be better.
Better communication between staff members
Keeping promises made to children
Better support away from other peers
Better understanding and compassion
Looking at the bigger picture seeing the whole situation without judgement
Understanding children are not adults they need the right support
Mental health is just as important as being in classroom without confidence they cannot learn
More confidence building
Better pshe lessons
Life skills
Support before punishment
Children need to be valued and heard
Keeping promises made to children
Better support away from other peers
Better understanding and compassion
Looking at the bigger picture seeing the whole situation without judgement
Understanding children are not adults they need the right support
Mental health is just as important as being in classroom without confidence they cannot learn
More confidence building
Better pshe lessons
Life skills
Support before punishment
Children need to be valued and heard