Parent, South Yorkshire
My stories
My School Story
I did very little learning in school. I was academically able and I wanted to learn but school wasn’t the right place for me to do that. I found it completely overwhelming, a sensory nightmare. Noise, lights, smells, constant changing of classrooms, teachers, their expectations and personalities all different.
I wish I'd been ok with it like everyone else seemed to be. I had friends and wasn’t bullied. But being dragged into school everyday and forced into a classroom full of my peers while still crying and shaking isn’t a great way to blend in. I’d frequently be shouted at by staff, told to grow up, calm down, be ok with change before being left alone in a room because they were too busy to deal with me. I’d often still be there hours later, unsure if I was allowed to leave to use the toilet. If I ever made it into a lesson myself I didn’t take any information in because I was exhausted from the energy it took to get myself there.
I had a lot of time off, the longest being 9 months when I started GCSEs. I studied at home, it was not defiance or laziness keeping me away from school. I pushed myself to pass GCSEs, A Levels and I achieved a first class degree. All my learning was done at home, in an environment I could be calm in, where I wasn’t completely dysregulated.
These achievements mean very little as my mental health has suffered massively from my experience at school. The constant attack on my nervous system and dismissal of my feelings led me into periods of intense burnout and suicide attempts from the age of 14.
My school experience was traumatic and it continues to be. It has ruined my life but I wont let history repeat itself. My daughter is going through the same thing and I can truly understand how paralysing and unsafe school can feel to a young person. Unfortunately there is very little help and understanding available to those who can’t (not won’t) attend school. The constant narrative from government about the importance of attendance and that home educating is a safeguarding concern is a further burden on those who are fighting for the wellbeing of their children when no one else is.
I wish I'd been ok with it like everyone else seemed to be. I had friends and wasn’t bullied. But being dragged into school everyday and forced into a classroom full of my peers while still crying and shaking isn’t a great way to blend in. I’d frequently be shouted at by staff, told to grow up, calm down, be ok with change before being left alone in a room because they were too busy to deal with me. I’d often still be there hours later, unsure if I was allowed to leave to use the toilet. If I ever made it into a lesson myself I didn’t take any information in because I was exhausted from the energy it took to get myself there.
I had a lot of time off, the longest being 9 months when I started GCSEs. I studied at home, it was not defiance or laziness keeping me away from school. I pushed myself to pass GCSEs, A Levels and I achieved a first class degree. All my learning was done at home, in an environment I could be calm in, where I wasn’t completely dysregulated.
These achievements mean very little as my mental health has suffered massively from my experience at school. The constant attack on my nervous system and dismissal of my feelings led me into periods of intense burnout and suicide attempts from the age of 14.
My school experience was traumatic and it continues to be. It has ruined my life but I wont let history repeat itself. My daughter is going through the same thing and I can truly understand how paralysing and unsafe school can feel to a young person. Unfortunately there is very little help and understanding available to those who can’t (not won’t) attend school. The constant narrative from government about the importance of attendance and that home educating is a safeguarding concern is a further burden on those who are fighting for the wellbeing of their children when no one else is.
What happened next...
I was flexing-school and this is the only way I was able to learn. I did return to school but it led to extreme burnout and PTSD.
My child is currently on roll at school but unable to attend. I am providing education at home for her and I feel the only option to ensure her mental health isn’t further impacted is to home educate.
My child is currently on roll at school but unable to attend. I am providing education at home for her and I feel the only option to ensure her mental health isn’t further impacted is to home educate.
How I think schools could be better.
Less focus on data and more on connection and relationships. Education that is suitable for the children in between who are neurodivergent or struggle with the sensory overwhelm of school but don’t have learning disabilities.
Less pressure on children and parents about attendance - I don’t know any parents who don’t care about their children’s education but scare tactics are not the way to go.
Acknowledgement that the current education system isn’t working for many children and also isn’t working for staff.
There's not enough funding for schools to operate safely and there’s a lack of appropriate training for teachers and support staff about issues that are essential to pupil wellbeing.
Training is treated as a tickbox exercise and not fit for purpose.
Less pressure on children and parents about attendance - I don’t know any parents who don’t care about their children’s education but scare tactics are not the way to go.
Acknowledgement that the current education system isn’t working for many children and also isn’t working for staff.
There's not enough funding for schools to operate safely and there’s a lack of appropriate training for teachers and support staff about issues that are essential to pupil wellbeing.
Training is treated as a tickbox exercise and not fit for purpose.