Parent of 5: Part 1 – UK
My stories
My School Story
Story 1.
Where we are now -
My 16 year old is in a SEMH school with an EHCP.
They are on the pathway for an Autism and ADHD assessment, a DCD assessment, and are under CAMHS.
They don't want to be alive.
They have extreme anxiety, chronic fatigue, depression, hyper mobility and chronic pain and recurrent migraines.
'they just need to try harder'
'there is nothing we can do'
'there is nothing going in'
'I don't see any need for additional support'
'its because your marriage broke up'
'we could send you on a parenting course'
'My child is a window licker too' (that was from a SENCO)
I had a bright, inquisitive, clever child, full of life and obsessed with numbers and school destroyed that, over and over again.
At 7 my child told me how they were going to kill themselves, and would stand in a road wishing a car would hit them.
Schools swung between encouraging them to 'try harder' to just ignoring them and hoping we'd go away.
They were too concerned with the breach of uniform policy rather than why my child felt the need to wear a hat 24/7.
They punished, marked work incorrectly because of poor handwriting when an OT had diagnosed severe issues with fine motor skills. We were denied any referrals to assessments and further support.
We have deregistered from a primary school and a secondary school....both too worried about statistics than my child's health and happiness.
I don't know if my child will make it.
It's *that* bad.
Where we are now -
My 16 year old is in a SEMH school with an EHCP.
They are on the pathway for an Autism and ADHD assessment, a DCD assessment, and are under CAMHS.
They don't want to be alive.
They have extreme anxiety, chronic fatigue, depression, hyper mobility and chronic pain and recurrent migraines.
'they just need to try harder'
'there is nothing we can do'
'there is nothing going in'
'I don't see any need for additional support'
'its because your marriage broke up'
'we could send you on a parenting course'
'My child is a window licker too' (that was from a SENCO)
I had a bright, inquisitive, clever child, full of life and obsessed with numbers and school destroyed that, over and over again.
At 7 my child told me how they were going to kill themselves, and would stand in a road wishing a car would hit them.
Schools swung between encouraging them to 'try harder' to just ignoring them and hoping we'd go away.
They were too concerned with the breach of uniform policy rather than why my child felt the need to wear a hat 24/7.
They punished, marked work incorrectly because of poor handwriting when an OT had diagnosed severe issues with fine motor skills. We were denied any referrals to assessments and further support.
We have deregistered from a primary school and a secondary school....both too worried about statistics than my child's health and happiness.
I don't know if my child will make it.
It's *that* bad.
My Home Ed Story
The second time my child was deregistered, from a secondary school they chose to try, they were so exhausted that it was impossible for them to stand up. They were 13.
Recovery was long and slow and things improved, and got worse.
We were alone.
We did all the things we were supposed to do and watched as the professionals eyes glaze over when they'd realise how dire our situation was.
A hurried promise of support and we'd never hear from them again.
Over an over again.
Being at home was a safe place, a sanctuary, a convalescence. It was needed desperately. But we needed support.
I fought for 18 months to get an EHCP and a placement at a fantastic AP (Alternative Provision), full of staff who care and cannot believe how badly we have been let down.
They are trying their best but the damage my child has experienced runs deep and now they have joined in my quest for further support....and still, nothing.
Recovery was long and slow and things improved, and got worse.
We were alone.
We did all the things we were supposed to do and watched as the professionals eyes glaze over when they'd realise how dire our situation was.
A hurried promise of support and we'd never hear from them again.
Over an over again.
Being at home was a safe place, a sanctuary, a convalescence. It was needed desperately. But we needed support.
I fought for 18 months to get an EHCP and a placement at a fantastic AP (Alternative Provision), full of staff who care and cannot believe how badly we have been let down.
They are trying their best but the damage my child has experienced runs deep and now they have joined in my quest for further support....and still, nothing.
How I think schools could be better.
If I could go back in time and know what I know now, none of my children would have ever gone to school.
It is inherently ableist, archaic and is based on a business model rather than what is best for children.
The whole thing should be thrown away, redesigned without a single politician being involved.
It is inherently ableist, archaic and is based on a business model rather than what is best for children.
The whole thing should be thrown away, redesigned without a single politician being involved.