Parent, North Yorkshire
My stories
My School Story
When our son unexpectedly descended into crisis 2 weeks into starting secondary school we couldn’t get help from anywhere. The school eventually referred us to support which added him to a 4 month waiting list. The GP didn’t want to refer him for an autism assessment without evidence from school. CAMHS gave us a guilt trip about screen time and suggested sending the police round.
The autism assessment wait list was 3 years. In the end we paid privately for the assessment, the diagnosis and every single support put in place since.
The school’s SEND intervention resulted in complete disengagement and the LA EHCP process broke legal requirements and we were forced to start tribunal proceedings.
When we asked school about alternative provision they said they didn’t have any money.
We now know our son was an undiagnosed autistic who was triggered by the demands of a secondary school environment and then further traumatised by the school policy (and CAMHS insistence) that school was the best place for him. It wasn’t and he has completely disengaged from formal education due to the trauma.
One year on, we are on the brink of being forced into home education through lack of training, resources and understanding in the education (and mental health) system. Imagine my delight on hearing the government would like to make life more difficult for home educators too.
The autism assessment wait list was 3 years. In the end we paid privately for the assessment, the diagnosis and every single support put in place since.
The school’s SEND intervention resulted in complete disengagement and the LA EHCP process broke legal requirements and we were forced to start tribunal proceedings.
When we asked school about alternative provision they said they didn’t have any money.
We now know our son was an undiagnosed autistic who was triggered by the demands of a secondary school environment and then further traumatised by the school policy (and CAMHS insistence) that school was the best place for him. It wasn’t and he has completely disengaged from formal education due to the trauma.
One year on, we are on the brink of being forced into home education through lack of training, resources and understanding in the education (and mental health) system. Imagine my delight on hearing the government would like to make life more difficult for home educators too.
How I think schools could be better.
Children in distress need to be believed.
We asked for the school to focus on relationship building and they stressed the importance of the curriculum.
We advised about what could work, and were told it wasn’t possible.
When our son tried to come home by saying he was ill, the staff would tell him he had to try and manage.
This meant he eventually lost trust in the staff and had to phone me secretly.
We needs schools to listen to parents and children’s needs and if those needs can’t be met inform the LA the school isn’t suitable. Don’t try to fudge it or experiment with strategies at the child’s expense.
My son just needed a member of staff to be his friend and not put him under pressure, but schools are designed to create pressure
We asked for the school to focus on relationship building and they stressed the importance of the curriculum.
We advised about what could work, and were told it wasn’t possible.
When our son tried to come home by saying he was ill, the staff would tell him he had to try and manage.
This meant he eventually lost trust in the staff and had to phone me secretly.
We needs schools to listen to parents and children’s needs and if those needs can’t be met inform the LA the school isn’t suitable. Don’t try to fudge it or experiment with strategies at the child’s expense.
My son just needed a member of staff to be his friend and not put him under pressure, but schools are designed to create pressure