Parent, Herts
My stories
My School Story
My beautiful creative daughter started struggling with EBSA age 6. Not that we knew what that was then.
When she returned home from school she would meltdown. (we were told to put consequences in place, naughty step). what we know as the coke bottle effect.
Age 7, she was barely making it into school at all, it would start the night before with tummy aches, feeling sick, screaming which made bedtime routine difficult.
We were told to take her to school in her pyjamas kicking and screaming.
She wouldn't do it again they said.
Age 8, totally school avoidant, but they said she was fine in school when she was there.
I did course after course to find out what I could.
Only to be accused of 'mum is feeding into it trying to find an excuse, accused of fabricating illness, because there was not diagnosis.
Age 8 my baby self harmed and continuously said she wanted to die, I was told to go on a course, 'take back control' because my daughter was child to parent violence.
We were refused by numerous services over and over.
We changed schools, still they didn't get it.
Masking, fawning, conforming.
I was asked if anybody else could take her to school instead of me.
We were told to do ABA -PBA. If only I had known then what effect these have on some children.
my baby is now 11, hasn't had an education from state for 5 years l, I have fought everybody to be heard.
We are both traumatised by being unheard and accused.
My daughter has an official diagnosis of Autism, PDA,ADHD , SPD and severe anxiety.
I have spent £30k on therapies, private assessments, vestibular activities, regulation equipment and her education and private courses for me to enable me to learn about her needs, all whilst fighting the system and being accused.
My baby has lost her primary years that she will never get back.
I am broken.
When she returned home from school she would meltdown. (we were told to put consequences in place, naughty step). what we know as the coke bottle effect.
Age 7, she was barely making it into school at all, it would start the night before with tummy aches, feeling sick, screaming which made bedtime routine difficult.
We were told to take her to school in her pyjamas kicking and screaming.
She wouldn't do it again they said.
Age 8, totally school avoidant, but they said she was fine in school when she was there.
I did course after course to find out what I could.
Only to be accused of 'mum is feeding into it trying to find an excuse, accused of fabricating illness, because there was not diagnosis.
Age 8 my baby self harmed and continuously said she wanted to die, I was told to go on a course, 'take back control' because my daughter was child to parent violence.
We were refused by numerous services over and over.
We changed schools, still they didn't get it.
Masking, fawning, conforming.
I was asked if anybody else could take her to school instead of me.
We were told to do ABA -PBA. If only I had known then what effect these have on some children.
my baby is now 11, hasn't had an education from state for 5 years l, I have fought everybody to be heard.
We are both traumatised by being unheard and accused.
My daughter has an official diagnosis of Autism, PDA,ADHD , SPD and severe anxiety.
I have spent £30k on therapies, private assessments, vestibular activities, regulation equipment and her education and private courses for me to enable me to learn about her needs, all whilst fighting the system and being accused.
My baby has lost her primary years that she will never get back.
I am broken.
My Home Ed Story
I was forced to dereg from school in 2024 because they could not understand her profile nor believed and kept threatening with safeguarding.
I was not going to let these people come into my home the only place my girl felt safe.
We do interest based learning and have been all this time.
Some days are still a struggle with her nervous system disability.
We do what we can when we can.
On those days we do some cooking. This still involves reading and maths and executive functioning skills.
She plays on her Aeriel swing for Regulation needs.
All whilst fighting for her right to an education.
I was not going to let these people come into my home the only place my girl felt safe.
We do interest based learning and have been all this time.
Some days are still a struggle with her nervous system disability.
We do what we can when we can.
On those days we do some cooking. This still involves reading and maths and executive functioning skills.
She plays on her Aeriel swing for Regulation needs.
All whilst fighting for her right to an education.
How I think schools could be better.
Interest based learning.
Play based learning, why is this taken away at such a young age.
The right to use the toilet when they need to.
Teachers to do as they say, why is it OK for teacher to sit on desk but tell children not to, not all children can understand or see the fairness.
All professionals to have knowledge on masking, fawning and conforming and Autism.
Play based learning, why is this taken away at such a young age.
The right to use the toilet when they need to.
Teachers to do as they say, why is it OK for teacher to sit on desk but tell children not to, not all children can understand or see the fairness.
All professionals to have knowledge on masking, fawning and conforming and Autism.