Parent, West Dorset
My stories
My School Story
My child became long term unwell after a virus about 6 years ago and unable to attend school full time and before this there were already a few issues with support for undiagnosed SEN which the school never really listened to.
I tried and tried to get them to listen, to support, to help with supporting my child through what was a very hard time for her, to help with sending some work home, to help her stay in touch with her friends. We were treated awfully.
I was reported to SS twice for FII, dragged the most harrowing attendance officer meetings with my 7 year old daughter present also.
She heard and saw things she shouldn’t have had to at that age and saw me being accused of all sorts, being berated and put down and accused of lying.
The head at one point had walked past the house and looked into the window to see if she could see my child and also used information she had got from village gossip in one of the meetings.
They point blankly refused to believe she was unwell and couldn’t manage full time.
After 6 months of trying everything to get some help and support including going to the local MP, I gave up. I had always believed that school would be the best place for my child to be educated and that they and the LA would support us to provide with an education but I was wrong.
Accusations and not being heard or supported meant we had no option but to Home Ed.
Recently we tried somewhere which started off very well, on a medical referral.
My daughter enjoyed going and it seemed to be working well.
Unfortunately they made some changes over the summer and after that we had week after week of messed up timetables, teachers not turning up, lessons cancelled etc etc….
No matter how many times I again tried to discuss with them that we needed consistency due to Autism, this didn’t happen.
I was even told that “maybe I should consider that this was not the right fit” for my child. The place is supposed to be there for children who cannot access normal education for whatever reason including health issues.
The spark that had been re ignited initially in my child by being able to go somewhere that accommodated her health needs and her SEN, soon disappeared as it just became too much for her to cope with. We’ve been back to home Ed for about 5 months now and she’s finally coming back out of her shell.
I tried and tried to get them to listen, to support, to help with supporting my child through what was a very hard time for her, to help with sending some work home, to help her stay in touch with her friends. We were treated awfully.
I was reported to SS twice for FII, dragged the most harrowing attendance officer meetings with my 7 year old daughter present also.
She heard and saw things she shouldn’t have had to at that age and saw me being accused of all sorts, being berated and put down and accused of lying.
The head at one point had walked past the house and looked into the window to see if she could see my child and also used information she had got from village gossip in one of the meetings.
They point blankly refused to believe she was unwell and couldn’t manage full time.
After 6 months of trying everything to get some help and support including going to the local MP, I gave up. I had always believed that school would be the best place for my child to be educated and that they and the LA would support us to provide with an education but I was wrong.
Accusations and not being heard or supported meant we had no option but to Home Ed.
Recently we tried somewhere which started off very well, on a medical referral.
My daughter enjoyed going and it seemed to be working well.
Unfortunately they made some changes over the summer and after that we had week after week of messed up timetables, teachers not turning up, lessons cancelled etc etc….
No matter how many times I again tried to discuss with them that we needed consistency due to Autism, this didn’t happen.
I was even told that “maybe I should consider that this was not the right fit” for my child. The place is supposed to be there for children who cannot access normal education for whatever reason including health issues.
The spark that had been re ignited initially in my child by being able to go somewhere that accommodated her health needs and her SEN, soon disappeared as it just became too much for her to cope with. We’ve been back to home Ed for about 5 months now and she’s finally coming back out of her shell.
My Home Ed Story
Since de registering for the second time, things are so much better and my daughter no longer has to waste energy on struggling with just trying to even get to school and all that that entails.
She has come on leaps and bounds, can work to her capability and follow her interests and strengths and for the first time is considering what she wants to do in the future.
She can rest when she needs to and study etc around this. Her confidence in herself is growing too.
She has come on leaps and bounds, can work to her capability and follow her interests and strengths and for the first time is considering what she wants to do in the future.
She can rest when she needs to and study etc around this. Her confidence in herself is growing too.
How I think schools could be better.
I don’t know the whole answer to this…. All I know is that parents need to be heard, the children need to be heard, that school
Should be a place where children are supported and helped to follow their strengths and interests and not just be subjected to rules and tests and being shamed and belittled if they don’t meet some imaginary target. They should be treated like people and deserve respect and to be heard. School should be a place that supports a child if they are ill or long term sick and should do all they can to help that child to still feel a part of. All the children that don’t fit in the box are being destroyed but by bit, their creativity, their differences….. when they should be being celebrated and supported to reach their full potential, whatever that is for them.
Should be a place where children are supported and helped to follow their strengths and interests and not just be subjected to rules and tests and being shamed and belittled if they don’t meet some imaginary target. They should be treated like people and deserve respect and to be heard. School should be a place that supports a child if they are ill or long term sick and should do all they can to help that child to still feel a part of. All the children that don’t fit in the box are being destroyed but by bit, their creativity, their differences….. when they should be being celebrated and supported to reach their full potential, whatever that is for them.