Parent, was in Colchester
My stories
My School Story
My son attended an Ofsted Outstanding school for Reception and half of Year 1 where the pastoral/SENCO and his teacher were bullying me and lying to try and force me to into getting a diagnosis for my son, so they could benefit from funding.
They gaslit me to the point that my mental health suffered tremendously, while themselves preaching about kindness, emotional intelligence and mental health.
I pursued a diagnosis for him and was told it wasn’t relevant at the time, which was how we felt. The SENCO showed displeasure at me when I told her the outcome of our initial assessment.
He was very happy in school and the only issue we had was the teacher and SENCO bullying me and very obviously lying. They were caught out on multiple occasions. I didn’t know that schools got funding for a child with a diagnosis/EHCP, but I knew there had to be a motive.
It began affecting him. He fell off of his scooter and cried, then had a panic attack shouting “please don’t tell my teachers I cried,” during a time where they had just been caught lying, trying to make it seem like he couldn’t/didn’t show emotions.
His teacher had once blamed a child kicking him on the fact that he cried when it happened, which “feeds the behaviour.” And yet she and the SENCO’s latest was “he fell off his chair and didn’t cry so we asked all the adults in the whole school if they’ve ever seen him cry and they said no and that’s something we’ve NEVER seen in a child before,” and so was confusing him with emotions cards to present to them whenever he had a feeling.
He has never had a problem with showing his emotions until that moment on the scooter.
A meeting with the Head Teacher was frightening. Gaslighting and emotional abuse was clearly the school culture.
As parents we felt that pursuing anything for him was unsafe at that school as they were showing predatory and abusive behaviour. I couldn’t trust them with my son.
We moved to a new county earlier than intended, so that we could get him out of that abusive school.
He started a new school. After another year, I spoke to his lovely teacher about pursuing a diagnosis.
We were unsure if he was ND because school 1 had messed with our heads so much.
She said that whilst she sees that he might be ND, he wasn’t struggling with anything (true) so she would have to really exaggerate on a statement and it wouldn’t be very nice for us to read (which then made sense that school 1 were doing that but without involving me on the “plan”).
She checked his notes from school 1 to discover they hadn’t written a single word about him in his handover notes. Typical passive aggressive gaslighting behaviour of that school. After everything they put us through, they couldn’t put a single thing in writing, because it was lies.
He began experiencing anxiety after school and I started to worry.
That’s when I stumbled upon Home Education which I didn’t know existed before.
They gaslit me to the point that my mental health suffered tremendously, while themselves preaching about kindness, emotional intelligence and mental health.
I pursued a diagnosis for him and was told it wasn’t relevant at the time, which was how we felt. The SENCO showed displeasure at me when I told her the outcome of our initial assessment.
He was very happy in school and the only issue we had was the teacher and SENCO bullying me and very obviously lying. They were caught out on multiple occasions. I didn’t know that schools got funding for a child with a diagnosis/EHCP, but I knew there had to be a motive.
It began affecting him. He fell off of his scooter and cried, then had a panic attack shouting “please don’t tell my teachers I cried,” during a time where they had just been caught lying, trying to make it seem like he couldn’t/didn’t show emotions.
His teacher had once blamed a child kicking him on the fact that he cried when it happened, which “feeds the behaviour.” And yet she and the SENCO’s latest was “he fell off his chair and didn’t cry so we asked all the adults in the whole school if they’ve ever seen him cry and they said no and that’s something we’ve NEVER seen in a child before,” and so was confusing him with emotions cards to present to them whenever he had a feeling.
He has never had a problem with showing his emotions until that moment on the scooter.
A meeting with the Head Teacher was frightening. Gaslighting and emotional abuse was clearly the school culture.
As parents we felt that pursuing anything for him was unsafe at that school as they were showing predatory and abusive behaviour. I couldn’t trust them with my son.
We moved to a new county earlier than intended, so that we could get him out of that abusive school.
He started a new school. After another year, I spoke to his lovely teacher about pursuing a diagnosis.
We were unsure if he was ND because school 1 had messed with our heads so much.
She said that whilst she sees that he might be ND, he wasn’t struggling with anything (true) so she would have to really exaggerate on a statement and it wouldn’t be very nice for us to read (which then made sense that school 1 were doing that but without involving me on the “plan”).
She checked his notes from school 1 to discover they hadn’t written a single word about him in his handover notes. Typical passive aggressive gaslighting behaviour of that school. After everything they put us through, they couldn’t put a single thing in writing, because it was lies.
He began experiencing anxiety after school and I started to worry.
That’s when I stumbled upon Home Education which I didn’t know existed before.
My Home Ed Story
We deregistered nearly 3 years ago now.
We have seen him unmask and be his true self, the anxiety melt away, and him find true friendships.
He is learning in a way that works for him.
He has become an amazing pianist, magician and mathematician.
His confidence has grown in a way we could never have imagined, but it’s grown as himself, not someone heavily masking in order to fit in.
Not a day goes by that I’m not filled with gratitude for the life and education we are able to give him, which is suited to his beautiful non-neurotypical brain.
We have seen him unmask and be his true self, the anxiety melt away, and him find true friendships.
He is learning in a way that works for him.
He has become an amazing pianist, magician and mathematician.
His confidence has grown in a way we could never have imagined, but it’s grown as himself, not someone heavily masking in order to fit in.
Not a day goes by that I’m not filled with gratitude for the life and education we are able to give him, which is suited to his beautiful non-neurotypical brain.
How I think schools could be better.
Neurodivergent children are not safe in mainstream schools for myriad reasons.
From unmet needs to in our experience, exploitation.
There needs to be oversight and accountability on schools.
My biggest concern is safety.
If my child was forced back into school it would be his safety I would fear for.
Bullying from children but also bullying from teachers and school staff.
Secondary school scares me even more with knife crime so prevalent.
From unmet needs to in our experience, exploitation.
There needs to be oversight and accountability on schools.
My biggest concern is safety.
If my child was forced back into school it would be his safety I would fear for.
Bullying from children but also bullying from teachers and school staff.
Secondary school scares me even more with knife crime so prevalent.