Parent, Hampshire
My stories
My School Story
In hindsight, my son always showed signs of stress in the school environment, even right from pre-school. He learnt to mask very early on and because of this, his needs and eventual diagnosis weren't picked up on.
I was a concerned parent from the beginning, but it was in year 1 that I started having real concerns about his lack of communication at school and also how his behaviour at home was being impacted. He was described as 'the model student', 'a role model' although teachers also acknowledged that he was very quiet in class. I now know he was actually terrified, of doing something wrong, or drawing any attention to himself and of any unpredictability.
We were really thankful to have a school that took our concerns seriously and supported his referral for a diagnosis and by attempting to implement accommodations to help him in school. However even with this, we felt that his needs were not truly understood and definitely not met. Only one teacher really 'got' him and she was the only person he ever began to unmask with.
His stress at school increased and with it increased aggressive behaviour at home. He was becoming miserable at school and would hide in a hedge at playtime...something the teachers were aware of, but was not communicated to me until my son was able to tell me himself.
He became more angry with school as well as upset which began to lead to school refusal.
In year 5, it was clear to me that even with some efforts made by the school, nothing had a lasting positive effect and my son would suffer harm if he continued to be exposed to the school environment. We deregistered him.
I was a concerned parent from the beginning, but it was in year 1 that I started having real concerns about his lack of communication at school and also how his behaviour at home was being impacted. He was described as 'the model student', 'a role model' although teachers also acknowledged that he was very quiet in class. I now know he was actually terrified, of doing something wrong, or drawing any attention to himself and of any unpredictability.
We were really thankful to have a school that took our concerns seriously and supported his referral for a diagnosis and by attempting to implement accommodations to help him in school. However even with this, we felt that his needs were not truly understood and definitely not met. Only one teacher really 'got' him and she was the only person he ever began to unmask with.
His stress at school increased and with it increased aggressive behaviour at home. He was becoming miserable at school and would hide in a hedge at playtime...something the teachers were aware of, but was not communicated to me until my son was able to tell me himself.
He became more angry with school as well as upset which began to lead to school refusal.
In year 5, it was clear to me that even with some efforts made by the school, nothing had a lasting positive effect and my son would suffer harm if he continued to be exposed to the school environment. We deregistered him.
My Home Ed Story
After we deregistered my son, he changed overnight. He became the child we had had glimpses of in the school holidays. He felt safe and it showed.
There are still some struggles and some trauma because of his school experience.
The biggest difference it has made is to his social interaction. While at school he had no real friends and avoided social interaction wherever possible. Since home educating him, he feels able to socialise more and has made 2 really good friends and feels able to socialise with others too in groups we regularly attend.
There are still some struggles and some trauma because of his school experience.
The biggest difference it has made is to his social interaction. While at school he had no real friends and avoided social interaction wherever possible. Since home educating him, he feels able to socialise more and has made 2 really good friends and feels able to socialise with others too in groups we regularly attend.
How I think schools could be better.
The individual child needs to be seen and accepted for what they are. Better communication is vital as well and continuity between staff.