J, South East, UK
My stories
My School Story
Mainstream school was not a good fit for one of our children.
Before he started he was a happy, inquisitive, content boy with a thirst for knowledge.
From the outset he struggled with the sensory and other demands of the school environment itself.
The school was not able to provide him the support he needed to access the environment and his wellbeing, sleep and health suffered.
After years of continuing to try to make it work, with all after school time being lost to 'recovery' from the school environment itself.
The psychiatrist at our sons ASD assessment advised he would need an EHCP with support and adaptations.
The school were not able to support this. It was awful to see our son in so much distress, day in day out, he was so physically tense and not himself.
He explained that school was causing him so much stress.
We had to change and reduce our working hours to make sure we could support him with the stress and pressure he experienced at school.
We were told to bring him in his pajamas if we had to - just to get him in.
Before he started he was a happy, inquisitive, content boy with a thirst for knowledge.
From the outset he struggled with the sensory and other demands of the school environment itself.
The school was not able to provide him the support he needed to access the environment and his wellbeing, sleep and health suffered.
After years of continuing to try to make it work, with all after school time being lost to 'recovery' from the school environment itself.
The psychiatrist at our sons ASD assessment advised he would need an EHCP with support and adaptations.
The school were not able to support this. It was awful to see our son in so much distress, day in day out, he was so physically tense and not himself.
He explained that school was causing him so much stress.
We had to change and reduce our working hours to make sure we could support him with the stress and pressure he experienced at school.
We were told to bring him in his pajamas if we had to - just to get him in.
My Home Ed Story
We chose to electively home educate our son to protect his wellbeing and education. We organized learning and social opportunities in a format that suits our son's needs (smaller groups, 1:1, with sensory breaks and aids and support to access social environments).
His timetable has developed to include great quality online school, and an in person learning co-operative. As he is not continually 'recovering' from the school environment now, he is able to do lots of extra curricular activities and hobbies.
He has passed music exams.
We saw very quickly that our son returned to his happy self. He can now sleep well again, he is not tense and overwhelmed, he is working well within or above expectations for the national curriculum but also following his interests too.
Most importantly he is happy. He has many more friends now than he was able to have at school (as he was so overwhelmed there so was unable to use his social skills). The home education community in our area is active, sociable and inspiring.
We have never questioned that this has been the right choice for him. Home education is nothing like the stereotypes and is the right choice for many children. Our son says he is proud to be part of this inclusive community.
His timetable has developed to include great quality online school, and an in person learning co-operative. As he is not continually 'recovering' from the school environment now, he is able to do lots of extra curricular activities and hobbies.
He has passed music exams.
We saw very quickly that our son returned to his happy self. He can now sleep well again, he is not tense and overwhelmed, he is working well within or above expectations for the national curriculum but also following his interests too.
Most importantly he is happy. He has many more friends now than he was able to have at school (as he was so overwhelmed there so was unable to use his social skills). The home education community in our area is active, sociable and inspiring.
We have never questioned that this has been the right choice for him. Home education is nothing like the stereotypes and is the right choice for many children. Our son says he is proud to be part of this inclusive community.
How I think schools could be better.
- Online schools. For many children, this enables them to access the structured learning they crave and to socially interact, whilst also supporting their sensory and other needs. It enables them to be more sociable, and to have more resource for their hobbies and activities.
- Flexi-schooling. For some people, some physical school is beneficial but they will then need a more comfortable, supportive sensory environment to process and continue learning in other settings.
- Allowing Neurodivergent / people with sensory sensitivities to wear clothing that is comfortable for them - their own version of the school uniform.
As humans we can habituate and build tolerance to some things, but you cannot habituate to sensory sensitivity and nobody should be expected to.
- Enabling access to quieter areas to eat lunch and have breaktime for anyone who needs this. It is not possible to habituate to overwhelm from the sensory environment, and this puts so much pressure on certain people's nervous systems.
- Smaller group learning.
- Consistent, regular and high quality information about Neurodivergence for all staff and children at schools - delivered by Neurodivergent people and experts.
- A recognition that many children mask their difficulties and do not feel safe to express their needs in the school environment. Whilst these children may appear to have lower needs than those who do not mask, their difficulties can affect them just as much.
Working with, believing and respecting parents is essential in supporting these children who may 'hold it together' at school, at cost to their wellbeing.
Children will often express this in their safe place at home and so parents are well positioned to offer insight into their children's difficulties in school.
- Flexi-schooling. For some people, some physical school is beneficial but they will then need a more comfortable, supportive sensory environment to process and continue learning in other settings.
- Allowing Neurodivergent / people with sensory sensitivities to wear clothing that is comfortable for them - their own version of the school uniform.
As humans we can habituate and build tolerance to some things, but you cannot habituate to sensory sensitivity and nobody should be expected to.
- Enabling access to quieter areas to eat lunch and have breaktime for anyone who needs this. It is not possible to habituate to overwhelm from the sensory environment, and this puts so much pressure on certain people's nervous systems.
- Smaller group learning.
- Consistent, regular and high quality information about Neurodivergence for all staff and children at schools - delivered by Neurodivergent people and experts.
- A recognition that many children mask their difficulties and do not feel safe to express their needs in the school environment. Whilst these children may appear to have lower needs than those who do not mask, their difficulties can affect them just as much.
Working with, believing and respecting parents is essential in supporting these children who may 'hold it together' at school, at cost to their wellbeing.
Children will often express this in their safe place at home and so parents are well positioned to offer insight into their children's difficulties in school.