Emma, West Midlands
My stories
My School Story
What happened because we didn’t send our son to school:
They told me he would never be able to read or write, the professionals who diagnosed my youngest with autism, who said he would need a special needs school.
He was non-verbal & I couldn’t imagine sending him out into a new environment on his own, unable to communicate to a teacher if anything distressed him - unable to tell me if anyone hurt him.
Not yet potty trained, reflexes that lashed out in response to touch, I couldn’t imagine anyone changing him during the day. Plus, that’s so intimate. Why would I be happy for strangers to be dealing with that side of things?
I learnt about SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) from other parents & from the extensive reading I did on all things autism-related. As I learnt to lower his sensory bombardment, my son emerged, bit by bit. Then he could learn - always at his pace & always tailored to his learning style; visual, hands on. Years later, an OT assessed his sensory profile & he was right clicks all the way bar one!
By age 8 he was able to sound out & say CVC words. Words like cat. C-A-T cat. At that point the LA Home Ed team wrote that he had achieved all the educational expectations he was ever expected to achieve. Not surprising really as the professionals had set the bar so low. Why? They were referencing against school children, children who in a school environment were being kept in sensory overload & therefore unable to learn, unable to achieve.
I started out hoping that I could get him to read & understand maths enough to get by. To recognise the correct bus number, (that’s a laugh, the confined area of a bus = sensory overload, we can’t do busses even now) & not get short changed in shops.
The day he flipped over our word of the day &, seeing it for the first time, correctly read the word ‘malicious’, I cried a little. He tells the time on his analogue watch. Yes he is still situationally mute when outside the home but, with his friends (yes, he has friends!) he is a right chatterbox & has a fabulous sense of humour. He often has his Dad & brother in stitches.
I was told he would never have an imagination but we worked on make-believe & he now has a a better imagination than me & is fabulously creative. Yes he still writes some of his letters & numbers backwards & forgets to leave spaces between words but types stories and character descriptions all the time.
My son will always be autistic. He will always need help navigating this crazy world we live in. BUT he is NOT that mute, explosive child anymore, stuck in sensory overload 24/7 and unable to learn - & we have HOME EDUCATION TO THANK FOR THAT!
Oh, and the eldest was diagnosed later. He has been working for the last couple of years. Part time, admittedly, but for the same company for all of that time - & he loves it!
They told me he would never be able to read or write, the professionals who diagnosed my youngest with autism, who said he would need a special needs school.
He was non-verbal & I couldn’t imagine sending him out into a new environment on his own, unable to communicate to a teacher if anything distressed him - unable to tell me if anyone hurt him.
Not yet potty trained, reflexes that lashed out in response to touch, I couldn’t imagine anyone changing him during the day. Plus, that’s so intimate. Why would I be happy for strangers to be dealing with that side of things?
I learnt about SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) from other parents & from the extensive reading I did on all things autism-related. As I learnt to lower his sensory bombardment, my son emerged, bit by bit. Then he could learn - always at his pace & always tailored to his learning style; visual, hands on. Years later, an OT assessed his sensory profile & he was right clicks all the way bar one!
By age 8 he was able to sound out & say CVC words. Words like cat. C-A-T cat. At that point the LA Home Ed team wrote that he had achieved all the educational expectations he was ever expected to achieve. Not surprising really as the professionals had set the bar so low. Why? They were referencing against school children, children who in a school environment were being kept in sensory overload & therefore unable to learn, unable to achieve.
I started out hoping that I could get him to read & understand maths enough to get by. To recognise the correct bus number, (that’s a laugh, the confined area of a bus = sensory overload, we can’t do busses even now) & not get short changed in shops.
The day he flipped over our word of the day &, seeing it for the first time, correctly read the word ‘malicious’, I cried a little. He tells the time on his analogue watch. Yes he is still situationally mute when outside the home but, with his friends (yes, he has friends!) he is a right chatterbox & has a fabulous sense of humour. He often has his Dad & brother in stitches.
I was told he would never have an imagination but we worked on make-believe & he now has a a better imagination than me & is fabulously creative. Yes he still writes some of his letters & numbers backwards & forgets to leave spaces between words but types stories and character descriptions all the time.
My son will always be autistic. He will always need help navigating this crazy world we live in. BUT he is NOT that mute, explosive child anymore, stuck in sensory overload 24/7 and unable to learn - & we have HOME EDUCATION TO THANK FOR THAT!
Oh, and the eldest was diagnosed later. He has been working for the last couple of years. Part time, admittedly, but for the same company for all of that time - & he loves it!
What happened next...
I believe that if my son had gone into any school environment he would have been locked into sensory overload. He would have remained mute, explosive, and unable to communicate his needs. Even now, he needs a lot of time to process information and we avoid busy places as he can’t cope. This is why the professionals saw no hope for him.
How I think schools could be better.
A huge learning curve has to take place, especially on sensory processing disorder and autism. A child is too often punished for an autistic reaction to a situation caused by the environment and/or the responsible adults. No-one expects an adult to learn a new language while suffering a migraine - but our children are suffering similar pain from sensory overload and the adults are compounding the problem by punishing the child for poor behaviour.
It is heartbreaking the stories I have heard over the years as to why children have come out of school. The parents who have told me they wish they had started home educating before their children were in crisis.
Smaller classrooms, more understanding, more SEN spaces for those who are academically able but can’t cope with sensory bombardment. Time to process new information. An understanding that not all kids learn the same way and those who are hands on learners, visual learners, those who need movement should be given the opportunity to learn in an environment in which they can thrive.
It is no good force feeding the national curriculum if the speed of input means no understanding. An ability to focus on each child’s understanding must take priority.
It is heartbreaking the stories I have heard over the years as to why children have come out of school. The parents who have told me they wish they had started home educating before their children were in crisis.
Smaller classrooms, more understanding, more SEN spaces for those who are academically able but can’t cope with sensory bombardment. Time to process new information. An understanding that not all kids learn the same way and those who are hands on learners, visual learners, those who need movement should be given the opportunity to learn in an environment in which they can thrive.
It is no good force feeding the national curriculum if the speed of input means no understanding. An ability to focus on each child’s understanding must take priority.